The saga of one man's quest to achieve Microsoft Certification and live to tell about it...but he failed, so now you can read about his regular life instead
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Sunday, September 16, 2007  
Just watched Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger. Not the best movie, not the best animation, but OH LORD ON HIGH how Jane Seymour arouses me in this:

Amazingly, that is the UGLIEST picture of her in the movie. It took me at least an extra hour to watch this because I was pausing every time she was on screen. SO. WORTH. IT.

And yes, she and that cute blonde go swimming and subathing together:

Click for BIG picture

And as much as I wished they did more than sunbathe, realize that this is a G-rated movie folks. Yes, G. Motherfucker, G!!! The '70s were, by far, the greatest decade of American Cinema© I happened to live through. Perhaps ever.

And believe it or not, she looks even hotter wearing her costumes, because they reveal so much while ever so carefully concealing just enough. And yes, she does have awesome legs. And truly the face of an angel. And probably the hottest belly-button of any woman ever. If you ever needed proof that God is a man, watch this movie.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006  
Atlanta is a city that eludes the right angle. Roads, parking lots, housing developments, you will find nothing at 90 degrees to something else or straight for more than 100 feet. Even the lines painted on roads are curved; the parallel lines in parking lots are decorative, no one parks aligned with them. It must have been Sherman: he MUST have marched his soldiers in box formation as they burned everything down. The city planners got their revenge on all those who came afterward. Especially from NY. 19:47

Wednesday, February 15, 2006  
Reddit has been giving me some good ideas lately. This story on Boing Boing was pretty interesting and got me thinking about e-books, which I always thought were a good idea that wouldn't work unless there was a useful business model and good hardware. Also on Reddit was a link to this conceptual mock-up of a new touch-screen iPod. It's no great stretch to me that anything that can play movies can also display a good amount of text, like a book or e-book.

Since iTunes seems to have the music and video download business figured out, I can't believe someone isn't already looking at book downloads for it too. I haven't Googled for such articles but I'm sure they're out there. And the Boing Boing article suggests pretty strongly that the entire industry would benefit (authors AND publishers) once they get over the idea that the only way to make money is to keep paying for the overhead and passing it on to the consumer.

I also like the iPod's scroll wheel, and I think it would be perfect for reading a book. Not only could you use the up/down keys to scroll text, but you could simulate flipping pages by using the left/right keys. This might sound silly, but one of the things I like about books is flipping pages. One reason is that it preserves the flow of the book, and allows for strategic interruptions that can make surprises or transitions more effective. If you don't believe me, then you need to read this book. There's a key revelation that totally smacks you in the face (a lot of Frederick Forsyth's books are like that) and it happens just after you turn the page. I know it would not have the same impact if you were scrolling through the text.

I also think that combined with this technology you could come up with something a lot closer to a book, especially regarding the power consumption (or lack thereof), which, to me, would FINALLY make e-books worthwhile. Considering how many features they are packing into devices these days (phone, music, video, PDA) adding a good e-book reader would be child's play.

It seems like I'm not the only one who thinks this might work.

UPDATE: Remember, you saw it here first. :)

Saturday, January 14, 2006  
I may have said earlier that I would gladly pay good money to drown myself in Keira Knightley's bathwater. I was mistaken. I meant to say I would beg, borrow, and steal every last dollar on the planet Earth so that I could bid on the slightest chance that I might sample one drop of this woman's bathwater:

I absolutely recommend purchasing this exquisite publication, it's like watching the sun rise every time you look at it. 14:50

Sunday, June 05, 2005  

Which neatly sums up a 2 page MSNBC article here.

Of course this is all a smokescreen, because we all know who Deep Throat really is. 05:28

Thursday, December 30, 2004  
R.I.P. Jerry

Thursday, October 28, 2004  
This is too funny:

Saturday, November 15, 2003  
My new toy. Elephants not included. :) 15:29

Thursday, September 25, 2003  
OK, I guess I can post something new finally.

Check out the new SQL Team blogs! All kinds of good things there, just don't read my blog.

And elsewhere in the world: TVMax, oooops, sorry, DIPSHIT FUCKING CABLE CO. orally sodomizes four-legged antler-bearing tundra dwellers! Yeah, I know: water is wet, the sky is blue, death and taxes. Stoooooooooooooopid cable went out twice this past week! And I have to call THEM back to tell them it's fixed! I guess their service techs are too dumb to realize when they've actually fixed something.

And in spite of all this, I would gladly pay to drown myself in Keira Knightley's old bathwater, for no shorter route to heaven exists. 21:04

Saturday, August 09, 2003  
Just to reiterate my reasons for why you should go see Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl:

Keira Knightley, the most gorgeous creature ever
Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss but in the cup
And I'll not look for wine.
The thirst that from the soul doth rise
Doth ask a drink divine;
But might I of Jove's nectar sup,
I would not change for thine.

I sent thee late a rosy wreath,
Not so much honoring thee
As giving it a hope that there
It could not withered be;
But thou thereon didst only breathe,
And sent'st it back to me;
Since when it grows, and smells, I swear,
Not of itself but thee!

-Ben Jonson, To Celia

As you might guess, I will be profoundly saddened to post more blogs that might move this image off the page. Drink deep therefore, o loyal readers of McDBAs of Our Lives! (both of you) This may be the last post I ever make! :) 16:20

Friday, August 08, 2003  
Well, I'm testing this software called W.Bloggar to post blogs. It works pretty nicely! 19:09

Saturday, July 26, 2003  
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. GO. SEE. IT. 14:14

Monday, July 14, 2003  
Dipshit Fucking Cable Co., aka TVMax, strikes again! So we have a minor thunderstorm (OK, actually there was a guy with a big wooden boat herding animals in the parking lot) and the power goes out for 10 seconds and comes back on. So the HBO channels I'm shelling out $12 a month for AREN'T THERE! Even funnier, all three of them are playing an infomercial for...drum roll...


Let me ask you: if your company is so fucking stoooooooooopid to have equipment that blows up during a minor storm, ya think it makes sense to drop your regular channels and supply advertisements for your competitors????

Have I mentioned before that everyone in this apartment complex who has a southern exposure has Dish Network???? What a fucking surprise I'm sure....

Sunday, June 15, 2003  
GOT A NEW CPU AND MOBO!!! After I went to DipshitPC, er, I mean, AKA PCWe' and ordered some stuff and they just decided to charge me for it AFTER I posted the payment, but not before, and then I tried to get back to them and then finally someone called me and I called them back and said "CANCEL THE MOTHERFUCKER", I was livid, then I went to one of the stores around the corner and got an Asus mobo and an Athlon XP 2500 CPU and 512MB of RAM. Probably coulda done cheaper online, but I'm not sure I'll ever shop online again after the fiasco.